Yeah I know, but damnit... call me a hopeless romantic or something. I still have hope for such things that hurt me soo much. I don't understand this, I can't figure out why I do it, but I still keep screwin myself over :-( Maybe it's a phase and I'll grow out of it. Damn THAT would be nice. I guess boundless optimism is a fault. Figure that shit out... LOL

I have come to the realization that nothing we do ever changes the steps we take in life. We all trudge along at our certain pre-ordained pace, and no matter how much coniving we do to alter said pace will change a thing. Nothing can affect our trip through life's little web of deceit. It's really quite depressing if you think about it. Most people have this illusion that they control the speed of their lives when it's just the complete opposite. No one can change fate's cadence. Cajole her, bribe her, confuse her... she won't miss a step.

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